Long-distance matrimony checklist
A match across borders needs a workable routine while you get to know each other. Use this checklist when an introduction connects two people who live in different cities, countries or time zones.
Find a time that works for both of you
Share your local time zone and suggest two call windows. If one person is in the UK and the other is in Australia or Canada, take turns choosing a convenient time. Confirm the date as well as the hour before inviting relatives.
Discuss where you could build a life
Ask each other where you would like to live and which commitments would affect a move. Talk through work, caring responsibilities and visits to family. You can write down two realistic options and revisit them after you have spoken a few times.
Agree when to meet and involve family
Decide when you would both feel comfortable meeting or arranging a family call. For a first in-person meeting, choose a public setting and arrange your own transport. Agree how you will keep in touch between calls without expecting either person to be constantly available.
Make a shared plan for the first few weeks
After the first call, agree on a realistic rhythm. For example, plan a weekend video call and a short weekday check-in. If one person works shifts, use a regular day to agree the next call rather than assuming the same hour will work every week.
Write down the trade-offs before discussing a move
For each possible location, compare work commitments, access to family, language, and how often you could visit relatives. Note which questions you can answer now and which need research. Discuss what happens if neither person can move in the next year.
Plan the first visit in stages
Agree on a public place, the rough time you will spend together and whether relatives will attend. Keep control of your travel arrangements. Tell someone you trust your plans and avoid sending money or sharing identity documents with a new contact.
Example for a UK and Canada introduction
One person can suggest two times in their own city and ask the other to confirm the matching time in Canada. After a few calls, each can describe a realistic location for a future meeting and a separate preference for where to settle.
Common questions
How often should we talk?
Agree on a routine both people can sustain. A shorter call that reliably happens can be easier to maintain than daily calls that interfere with work or family. Review the routine if either person starts feeling pressured or disconnected.
When should we talk about relocation?
Bring it up once you know both people are interested in continuing. If one person cannot move, share that early. Treat travel plans and a permanent move as separate decisions.